MARI MELABUR DENGAN SSPN-i PLUS!

Monday, September 20, 2010

Hati

Hati2 lah wahai hati,kerana kamu mudah dilukai.


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Friday, September 17, 2010

raya dan makanan

makanan dan ak mmg xdapat dipisahkan lagi.betul2 mcm isi & kuku.

buktinya,kat rumah ni kalau ak x ke dapor,susah la hidup dorg suma.
kalau makanan tu xde air tgn ak,xbpe sedapla jadinya.ekekeke
saje je ckp kt org ak xpandai masak,low profile lah katekan.haha
mak ak pun kalau memasak suka bebenor mintak pendapat ak.
kadang2 mcm ak plak yg ketua chef kat dapor,haha.tenkiu mak,perasan jap.

skarang ni tgh cari peluang dan resepi nk wat cheese tart,cheese cake dan tart nenas yg gebu.ouchhh meleleh air liurku.

ak suka sgt masakkan sesuatu untuk org yg ak syg pada hari kejadian a.k.a birthday dorg.buktinya? dah bpe kali ak masakkan pasta untuk kwn2 kt Bangi,walaupun alatan memasaknye hanyalah rice cooker dan rice cooker shj.ada side dish mcm fun fries,sausage,nugget dan lain2.why eh? because i personally think that homemade cooking or present ada sentimental value yg sgt tinggi.tak caye cuba tanye kwn2 yg dh merasa masakan i,mesti teringat2 kan? haha

makanan pun dapat menyatukan org tau.sy suka mkn bersama sbb ia mengeratkan hubungan. xkesahla org tu kawan ke kekasih ke,apatah lg keluarga.

tersebut pasal kekasih, sy masih igt dulu kami selalu beli barang fresh dan bawak ke lokasi air terjun dan memasak.huhu.itu cerita lama,dan waktu tu dia yg ajar sy how to cook dlm keadaan yg serba kekurangan,mgunakan sumber s/jadi.kan sy dh ckp,memori mcm ni xakan dapat dilupakan.isk2...sedeyyyy


dah2,skang sy tgh fikir mcm mana nk hadapi teman yg suka merajuk dan tacing ni.aduh,pening2.br sy tau mcm mana rasanya melayan rajuk org ni.dulu sy penah jd mcm tu,mesti org yg melayan rajuk sy tu tension gila.haha

Monday, September 13, 2010

yang manis sudah menjadi pahit



yang indah sudah menjadi buruk




bila hati tidak lagi menyimpan sayang...



it's going to end soon, very soon....



bersedialah untuk dilukai wahai hati.

Thursday, September 2, 2010

mereka akan menjadi lebih baik...

itulah harapan dan impian ak buat masa ni.ak target lepas masa 3 bulan ni,pelajar kelas ak tak lagi bising tak tentu hala,bersembang,bergaduh,ponteng dan tidur dalam kelas.

rotan bukan jalan penyelesaian.itu ak sangat pasti.sebab kalau rotan pelajar itu berkesan, cikgu-cikgu senior tak perlu bawa rotan lagi hari ni. lagi satu,rotan itu hanya menyakitkan fizikal, yang perlu diubah ialah mentaliti pelajar itu sendiri.
mereka tak sedar kegelapan masa depan yang bakal mereka tempuhi dengan sikap dan amalan-amalan mereka.walau kaya mana sekalipun ibu bapa mereka,ilmu itu sangat penting untuk kehidupan.

ak cuma mampu berdoa agar Allah swt lembutkan dan bukakan pintu hati mereka untuk perubahan yang positif.amin...

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

kelembapan yg menjengkelkan

pening,gelisah,kesal dan sebagainya. itulah yg ak rasa bila online guna laptop free ni. lambat respond,touchpad xsensitif..macam2 hal lg.nak buah hati ak balikkkkk!
dah takde baru nk rindu kan? sama mcm org.bila org tu tiba2 dah xmuncul dlm hidup kita,kita akan rindu kehadirannya.padahal masa ada depan mata,kita tak hargainya betul2. sedih,sgt sedih bila memikirkan semua ini.


apa pun ak berserah pada takdir.

mood xbape baik hari ni.sbb belum dapat webcam ngn buah hati pengarang jantung.huhu.
dAMN U BROADBAND!

Monday, August 30, 2010

Hidup dengan restu ibu ayah

sebelum tamat ijazah lagi mummy dah suruh ak apply cikgu.masa tu ak xfaham kenapa beliau minat sgt dgn profession ni.sampaikan calon menantu pun beliau nak seorang cikgu.huahuahua..mana ak nk carik cikgu hensem skrg ni? kalau ada pun laki org je ramai ;P.banyak alasan ak bg untuk mengelak dari menjadi guru,sebab ak terbayang kepayahan yg akan ak lalui bila mengajar budak2,anak2 org ni.pokoknya mmg ak xberniat pun nk jd cikgu,sebab ak cukup malas melayan kerenah budak2.haha

walaubagaimanapun,hari ni genap hari ke-8 ak menjadi guru sandaran.rasa mcm xpercaya pun ada.seminggu selepas konvo ak ikut je rancangan mummy and daddy untuk isi borang guru ganti kt pej.pendidikan. ak pergi dgn fikiran yg kosong,dan juga harapan panggilan mengajar tu mungkin beberapa hari lg atau beberapa minggu lg.sempat la ak melepak2 lg dirumah.hahahaha.tp,hari tu selepas bbrapa minit sampai di pejabat,ak diberi borg gstt.dan diarahkan ke sekolah untuk lapor diri terus.ayyyyaarkk! dup dap jantung ak.eh betul ke ni?

semua urusan lancar.muka mummy daddy pun bersinar je ak tgk.maklumlah anak manja dh nk jadi cikgu...they must be proud of me :) w/pun hati ak gundah gulana tp ak kuatkan semangat jgk.tak boleh nk lembik2 lg.xboleh nk lepak2 main2 mcm budak sekolah lg.sekarang ak dh ada tanggungjawab yg besar.huhu

ak tinggal dgn gstt lain kt kuarters dlm sekolah.g sekolah ngn kereta kwn.setiap hari dalam pukul 3 ptg ak dh boleh lepak2 di rumah.hujung minggu boleh balik rumah mak main ngn kuceng.

1 perkara yg ak belajar dr perjalanan hidup ni, ikut je apa yg mummy daddy ckp or plan untuk kita,selagi xmelanggar hukum syarak.redha ibu bapa akan diiringi redha Allah swt.sekarang ni ak cuma nk mummy n daddy senang hati dan berbangga dgn ak.

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Amik jubah dan konvo

4 OGOS 2010
8:35 A.M/roundabout bangi
sepatutnya dh masuk dewan untuk taklimat ni,tp kami masih terperangkap
dlm jem.uuhuhu banyaknye kereta..

9:10 A.M/DECTAR
Ak berjalan dgn laju untuk masuk ke dewan.pintu utama dikhaskan untuk vvip ye,so kena jauh pusing ke pintu B.
Mak aii ramainye orggg.nk muntah pulak rasenye.
boleh kata semua seat penuh,dgn muka2 yg ak xkenal or xpenah nmpak sebelum ni(,padahal 1 UKM je). malu nk jalan lebih jauh untuk cari seat berdekatan org yg ak kenal, ak rembat je kerusi sebelah perempuan tu. call yati dr td xangkat.no wonder la,ramai sgt org,mesti die xdgr ak call.nasib baik masa ak tercari2 tu die reply mesej,so dgn muka selamba ak pun berjalan ke arah yati.lega rasanya dapat bersama org yg kita kenal.huhu.

9:45 A.M
Kenapa ak xrasa excited pun ni,nk konvo?
Ak rasa mcm ala...amende ni nk konvo pn bnyak hal nk setel.
mak bapak pun xtau lg dtg ke x, yuti n family,yudah,and abg2 ak area kl ni.ye,semua duduk dan kerja di kl,tp mcm berat sgt nk spend time untuk ak.(ini statement kecik ati okeh)...yuti yg duk grik tu ak consider la..lgpun die tgh pregnant,jd xbpe sihat sgt nk jalan jauh.tp UKM pn 1 hal jugak.kalau family ak dtg suma pun bukan suma leh masuk dectar.2 org je,yg lain nk watpe kt luar?dgn cuaca yg xmenentu skang ni?
hmmm org pendamar pun nk dtg.sy suka sgt,tp dorg xleh masuk jgk.so ape fungsinya bawa keluarga dan sanak saudara sewaktu konvo?

11:00 A.M
taklimat dh abis,sekarang masa untuk setel hal jubah.
sebenarnya fikiran berserabut dan takde semangat berkobar2 pun nk amik jubah.
tgk org beratur panjang nk amik beg konvo, lgla rase mcm nk blah cepat2.
nasib la ade kawan ak sudi temankan.rase mcm budak sekolah rendah lak diiringi untuk sesi pendaftaran darjah 1.die tanyekan untuk ak,carikan tempat nk amik jubah,everything.(okey ak rasa masa ni lah yg plg sesuai untuk bermanja2.hahaha)

11:10 A.M
okey jubah dh dapat.jom balik.
eh kena try dulula syg....hihihi
butang die ade rosak sikit so kwn ak tlg betulkan.(eh selambanye die duk rapat2 ngn ak......)ade sesuatu feeling yg aneh disitu.tet.....haha

2 P.M
sampai di bilik ayin.seronok ak tgk die.

Monday, August 2, 2010

am very happy to make everyone smile and laugh..

smile is a sweet potion without sugar.

the sweetness of a smile can cure sadness, failure and depression.

when ur job revolve around customer service, every hour you have to expect something wrong somewhere :D.its a wonderful experience though.


i feel great when i see people started to smile when they see me.when i'm not around, i know they will miss me.
they laugh over my stupid jokes.


kesimpulannya? a smile has the power to form a strong bond of relationship.buat org gembira dan kamu juga akan senang hati, selalu.



Dan sekarang i have to face the reality of leaving the 'happiness' behind. with a bitterness that started to crawl inside, i still put on a smiling face to say goodbye,even its hurt damn much.

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

My first job


Memulakan sesuatu yg baru bukan mudah. Pekerjaan, adalah perkara yg kita lakukan untuk mendapatkan wang. Sama ada kita gembira atau tidak apabila bekerja, kita tetap perlu menjalankan tugas dengan baik. Cabaran terdapat di mana-mana. Yang penting, jangan cepat mengalah dan berputus asa. Carilah seseorang yang boleh kita harapkan untuk memberi semangat dan dorongan. Teruskan berusaha mengatasi masalah-masalah di tempat kerja. Berfikiran positif adalah jalan terbaik. Carilah hikmah disebalik setiap dugaan yang dihadapi.

Saturday, June 5, 2010

project paper dapat A.(alhamdulillah).inilah yg dikatakan the sweetness of victory.
God knows how much pain I've gone through to get this solid A.


Amizan,
I miss U..


nak nangis ni...rindu sesangat.
awak saje yg pandai amik hati saya...bagi balikkkkk skang!
mcm mana sy nk idop tampa hati sy disisi..
huwaa....


mama..nk tawen....
nk ikat dia xmo lepas lg..huuuuhuhu

Thursday, May 6, 2010

in search for a decent job n many more decent things in life...

Friday, April 30, 2010

moody sahaja beberapa hari ini.
pre-menstrual syndrome i guess T_T
I'm monophobic.
you know what it means?
xboleh mkn sorang
xboleh tido sorang
xboleh duduk bilik sorang2 seharian.
kalau terjadi jugak ke'loneliness' itu i'll cause alot of troubles.
like today, i'm emotionally disturbed and hv started to think about
how i'm going to kill mr. M.
stranded in this dem hot room with zero credit and empty tummy, i feel like
running an amok.
absurd.
totally.
but still i hv to figure out what is exactly i need
rather than pestering him on what i want.
tolong.
can't stand it anymore..
i need crowds.

Thursday, April 29, 2010

miss u dad..

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

tido peluk tesis mlm ini

WELL WRITTEN and ada possibility dapat A if I make some changes.
hehe..berbunga2 hati ini...all hard works have been paid with just 2 words.
Thank God for this moment.. :)

Monday, April 26, 2010

so so sad its bleeding inside


I was like this in the bus just now.Balik dri ppbl untuk ke libry.(Have you ever cried in a bus?)
Tiba-tiba saja hati rasa sayu. Perasaan menjadi pilu. Susahnya hidup seorang student.
Susahnya bila kita sendirian menghadapi cabaran.Jauhnya kasih yg kucari. Mahalnya harga sebuah kejayaan. Sukarnya memiliki sekeping degree.
Terbayang kembali cabaran yg pernah ditempuh beberapa tahun dulu.Oh tuhan..beratnya dugaan yg Kau beri.
Aku telah berusaha sedaya mampu untuk semuanya. :(
Hari ini aku tewas. Bergenang air mata tak dapat ditahan lagi.
Aku mengaku aku memang lemah, krn manusia lain lg hebat dugaannya.




pergi libry kena bayar denda. mmg btul2 shit.(I'm sure!) I've renewed each book?!
mcm ni makin ramai la rakyat malaysia malas membaca.
Bila dh sakit hati mcm2 nak ungkit.
Paling sakit hati pasal duit la..sbb bende alah tu yg sgt2 scarce dlm hidup aku.skrg.ye sekarang.
Membayar yuran pengajian separuh nyawa and later on you charge everything you could ats nama berbagai yuran khas atau yuran tambahan penginapan. and you know what I'm not gona miss this place after all pain you had gain in my life!
okay.itu bukan cerita penuh. aku sayang UKM.
cuma bab kewangan ni...sgt sukar diterima.
banyak sgt perkara yg menyukarkan.
kadang2 tak tertanggung rasanya.
But I won't give in.
yes.
I won't.


Gambar ni jugak yg boleh buat aku senyum..hari tu terbaca kt belog hanis zalika, so i saved him in my document.comel kan?

Saturday, April 24, 2010

what i need is what i want

2 years back (gosh have it been that long?) he gimme ideas about what to write in my essay.
I remembered that task was given in written com's class.
We have to produce a brief essay on 'interesting places' or something like that.
Masa tu baru je kenal, dan dia tak jemu2 call untuk bersembang.
So saja tnya pendapat dia, sbb sambil sembang (I wasn't into that conversation) I was like scratching a blank paper to get some ideas.
Essay nk kena anta esok ni, tp dari td mamat ni xnk berenti bercakap. Satu ayat pun belum tulis.
But it's worth it, I mean asking his opinion.
I was searching for something not-so-common to write about, and he happened to mention these beautiful island;Pulau Kapas n Pulau Redang.
Beberapa minggu selepas tu the lecturer give out feedback on our writings.
Guest wat, I managed to get 9/10! haha.
Lepas tu I always consult him about most of my assignments.
Even perkara yg aku tanya tu dia xpenah dgr atau tak tahu (well some theories and concepts in class)dia akan jawab dgn brilliant skali.
In fact, he IS my thinking out of the box
Those are sweet memories.
Sejak tu dia tak pernah hampakan aku.
Ask him anything, even the stupidest question you've ever think off.
Suka tanya pendapat dia ttg banyak perkara.

Bukan mcm sesetengah org yg malas nk respond bila kita tanya tu.
Even worst when he/she snapped in when we are talking. (well banyaknya perempuan la.)
Aku xpenah/jarang jumpa lelaki yg suka interrupt bila aku tgh ckp.
Tolongla, xde adab sgt. Perbuatan memotong ckp org tu boleh menaikkan kemarahan.
Kau telah menunjukkan yg kau xberminat langsung nk dgr apa org lain ckp.
helllo, I wasn't interested too if you're a kind of that impolite person.

What i need now is this decent person, yg banyak ckp dan idea untuk dikongsi.
Yg x segan untuk berfikir for me.
He who makes me laugh,giggle,smile and even cry a bunch.
sigh...
THIS RESEARCH WRITING IS DRIVING ME CRAZY.
bukan susah sgt...
cuma ayat2 dlm otak ni perlukan motivasi untuk dijelmakan dalam typing.
mcm pokok bunga yg perlukan air dan baja untuk hidup.

Maybe I was just being too dependant.
And maybe not.
He is becoming one of my needs.
I WANT MY johnny deppppppp.
malay version okay.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

malam ini aku ditemani..

Esok exam..isu-isu keluarga.
haih...
apa yg aku nk jawab esok ni..
nota pun xbaca.
tak sangka sebenarnya, cepat sgt masa berlalu.
rasanya baru hari selasa, duk guling2 dgn teddy..
main2 internet, blogging..
risau2 psl thesis
wat research pasal gender then terus mengantuk..
tidur, bgn, makan.
eh, tetiba esok jumaat?
huhu

sekarang ni aku berdua je ngn teddy.ada ni kena kepit ngn tgn kiri.
sesekali aku angkat dan cium dia bertalu2.gomol kt pipi, tgn, kaki..
dan seluruh body dia.sedapnya bila bulu dia kena idung.ah.

sungguh menyenangkan.

wonder how I could live without teddy.
No.
I'll bring him anywhere.
Even bila dh start keje nti, he'll follow me.
be my best sleeping buddy.
Bila dah kawin?

I'll bring him too..

No big deal.
my hubby will understand.kih3..
but maybe at that moment teddy and hubby will fight
to win me.
or maybe kena ada jadual, tonite who's turn.

apa yg aku merepek ni.

siang td beli cheese cake lg.
kali ni blueberry cheese.
and 2 bijik blueberry cheese tart.
ape hal dua hari ni x abis2 ngn cheese..
baru td terfikir, hmm kalau ada masa lapang ni
aku kena blajar cara nk wat mende2 yg aku makan td.
owh seronoknya.
nti hantaran kawin aku nk bake something, home made cookies and maybe cake.
baru la ada sentimental value..
bila dah kawin aku akan masakkan makanan
sedap2 untuk family.(ni bagus ni niat suci)

Kawin tu senang ke susah?
ada jiran depan bilik td ckp dia takut nk kawin.
ayah dia dh edarkan kad kawin suma.
maybe itulah perasaan org nk kawin?.
berdebar2, maklumlah kita hanya mampu merancang, Allah yg tentukan segalanya.

Beberapa hari lepas aku jumpa kawan mizan.
tengku dr pahang, ngn isteri dia.
x habis2 bg ceramah pasal kawin kt aku.
siap promote lg yg mizan tu calon yg sgt sesuai.
setia, x hipokrit. kuat berusaha..bla bla bla.
walaupun isteri tengku tu baru je kenal mizan,
aku strongly agree ngn apa yg dia ckp psl mizan.
u know wat, tengku tu siap bg pandangan,
yg aku ngn mizan will be perfect couple, great husband and wife.
because we both resemble each other.
haha.aku ketawa kt citu.x beragak.
hmm..
kata2 dorg ni agak terkesan dalam hati sanubari aku yg keras ni.
aku ni degil.
xbanyak ckp.
tp bila dgr nasihat org, kadang2 boleh terima.
nak2 bila org tu bukan calang2. ada ilmu.
perhati org 5 minit dh tau hati budi.

sekarang aku ada kuiz untuk sesiapa yg membaca.kalau ada la..
ada berapa banyak perkataan kawin dlm entri ni?

hehe.sungguh panjang cerita hari ni ye tuan puan.
sumanya kerna paper isu2 keluarga esok.
damn boring.
tp xpe, kena baca sebanyak mungkin, bia lekat dlm otak.
harap2 ape yg aku blaja dlm kos ni boleh apply untuk aku bila dh kawin nti.
eh ada lg perkataan ni?

10 things I hate about you

I hate the way you talk to me,

and the way you cut your hair.

I hate the way you drive your car,

I hate it when you stare.

I hate your big dumb combat boots

and the way you read my mind.

I hate you so much it makes me sick,

it even makes me rhyme.

I hate the way you're always right,

I hate it when you lie.

I hate it when you make me laugh,

even worse when you make me cry.

I hate it when you're not around,

and the fact that you didn't call.

But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you,

not even close

not even a little bit

not even at all.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Awal bulan 5 ni..


Tadi sy terima kad undangan Majlis Perkahwinan jiran depan bilik.
Aduuuuuuh...kecewa.
kenapa?
bila la turn sy plak ni.
erk? (ada ke org nk dtg minang awok?)
huhu.
Agak2 kalau dail no mummy dan usulkan hal kawin ni apa respond beliau ek?
hm.......

kena beranikan diri jugak.geram tgk kad kawin si baqiah td.

1 setengah jam dah bincang dgn si ayin..mak dia pakar bab2 pelamin ngn hiasan suma ni.
untung2 dapat diskaun. nk wat tema fairy-tale wedding.wah..grand gitu..

nk ckp ngn ayah ke ngn mak dulu eh? tetiba serammm.
ala lagipun bukan nye nk buat menda xelok.janji niat tu betul kan?

"dah kenapa kamu ni.tiba2 jek. igt hal kawin tu main2 ke. apa2 hal kenalkan dulu ngn org tua.datang rumah.nk tgk macam mana pilihan kamu tu."

"kalau lulus okeyla.minggu depan bawak rombongan"

~mestila okey..takkan org nk pilih calon cikai2 je.
~mak xkesah ke,dia cakap lepas habis degree ni dia nk masuk meminang.
~dia kata suma dia nak taja.
~Rumah dah ada, kt Nilai.
~kereta BMW.
~tak lama lgi bisnes kt Melaka untung juta2.

"ha bagus la tu. cepat, esok jugak mak nk jumpa dia."

~okey mak,org letak dulu eh,nk inform dia ni.mesti dia suka.


(Yes! 1 mei 2010 aku kawin. Yes!)


Dengan ini sy mengumumkan kawan2 semua dijemput ke majlis perkahwinan sy
pada........



tak tahu bila. ada jodoh ada modal nti kahwin la..
yg penting ada calon.kalo xde calon cane nk bersanding?huhu


dialog di atas rekaan semata-mata.tiada kena mengena dgn si penulis belog ini.
SEKIAN.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Dia, dia dan dia


Apakah matlamat sebenar anda berpasangan?


Saya mahu sentiasa menjadi bestfriend untuk dia

Saya mahu buat dia menangis rindukan kehadiran saya disisinya

Saya mahu bersandar di bahunya sambil menangis dan bersyukur, saya masih ada dia walau apa pun yg terjadi

Saya mahu dia jadi sebahagian hidup saya sehingga saya menghembuskan nafas yg terakhir


Saya mahu buat dia tersenyum, mengucup dahiku dan berkata 'terima kasih tuhan kerana menganugerahkan gadis ini sebagai isteriku'

Monday, April 19, 2010

falling ill

The writer of this blog is now suffering lower spine persistent pain.

Get well soon honey..

Saturday, April 17, 2010

Ini impian saya, okey.
4 bulan akan datang, iaitu pabila tiba waktu konvo,
saya akan memandu kereta saya sendiri.
Lebih bagus kalau ianya kereta Honda atau Toyota atau Neo
ataupun Nissan, seperti yg saya selalu tgk tak berkedip mata.
Saya akan berjumpa dgn junior2 silat, especially yg 1 kolej..dan yg
masih igt pd saya.
Saya akan bawa kamu keluar makan dan jalan-jalan.
Saya akan jumpa kawan semsas yg masih belum habis pengajian di UKM ni.
Saya akan jumpa lecturer di PPBL,ucapkan terima kasih pada mereka.
Kawan-kawan Elite, saya mahu jumpa kamu semua, dan berkata,
lihatlah kawan-kawan, saya sudah slim dan makin menawan!(sekarang ditahap cute)
hahaha
Mungkin saya akan perkenalkan suami saya pada masa tu.erk.mungkinkah?
kita xtahu.jodoh pertemuan Allah swt yg tentukan.cehhhhh.

Seronoknya masa tu..

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Social networking

Wondering from one account to the other, I saw beautiful pictures.
I saw happy faces, and
great views from overseas. I mean it.

A number of my friends have published their engagement or wedding day photos.
Its kinda.. you know that feeling? when we aren't sure if we can find someone good enough to be with..
for the rest of our live.
Maybe now we are happy with our partner,
but who knows what will happen in the future?

At other times I've seen some old couples
walking hand in hand.
Or taking pictures with the husband's hand warmly wrapped around
his wife's shoulder.
Wow. I am impressed! Seriously.

With all the wrinkles and not-so-slender figure, she still
has her husband by her side.
I know, I know, two love birds doesn't necessarily need to be physically attractive
to be together.
Sometimes a charming-hot-gorgeous guy happens to be an average-looking girl's boyfriend. Sometimes there are couples who were much perfect for each other.
Sigh.

Its communication and mutual understanding that matter most.

is in her positive vibe..

before closing my eyes last night ( 4 a.m to be precised) I have considered chanting a positive outlook for the next day.

It is a kind of programming our mind
so our body will function as we wish.

Try this once and you'll see how amazing it will be.
Trust me on this.
Have great days ahead!

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

wish list

Renang
Menunggang kuda
Skuash
Memanah
Lumba kereta
Menari

Di atas adalah 6 aktiviti yg aku nk buat dan belum kuasai sepenuhnya.
Sekarang belum dapat peluang.
Mungkin bila dh bekerja boleh cari waktu dan tempat yg sesuai.
Berkumpul dengan kawan2, bersukan dan bergembira.
berjumpa kawan sekolah, matrik, dan UKM.
Macam manalah kehidupan selepas degree ni ye..hmmmm

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

hari ini buat pertama kali..

aku merindui suasana di rumah.
pertama kali merindui tv programs sebenarnya..
duduk lepak depan tv sambil conquer remote.heheh
csi dan csi dan csi lg.
xpun talkshow Oprah atau rancangan masak2.
House ataupun action movies yg mencabar minda.
Tp
mak suka tgk cerita seberang.aduh..aku cukup lemas dgn jalan cerita yg stereotaip dan
terlalu dramatik.
bila mak dh pegang remote aku pun lari masuk bilik.tutup pintu dan on laptop.
tp kadang2 curi2 tgk jgk.
cerita melayu pun sama.
balik2 cerita pasal org kaya berebut harta,
org becinta xboleh kawin pasal lain darjat,
dan semua benda negatif pasal org kaya.
Ceo syarikat, kompeni itu ini
dato' datin ada affair ngn org sebaya anak dia..
producer malaysia ni dh xde idea ke
ade plak dok meniru reality show org putih.
org menari die pun nk menari jgk.
org buat idol die pun nk buat idol jgk.
org buat top host die pun nk buat jgk..adeyhhh
meluatnye.

Bila aku sudah tiada..

Aku takut mati.
sebab aku tau aku bnyak dosa dgn tuhan.
banyak dosa dengan mak ayah. :(
banyak dosa dgn adik beradik
banyak dosa dengan kawan2
banyak dosa dengan orang sekeliling.

Aku yg lemah ni selalu tewas dgn godaan.
Kewajipan tak dilaksanakan dgn sempurna,
larangan dilakukan tanpa menghiraukan Diri-NYA

Aku yg pemarah ni selalu melawan ckp ayah.
selalu memberontak dgn keputusan ayah.
selalu menyusahkan ayah. :(

Kalau aku tak lagi bernyawa esok hari
aku tahu apa yg akan terjadi
oh..
mampukah aku menerima
hukuman setimpal atas dosa-dosaku
mampukah aku menghampiri syurga-MU

Ya Allah..
Ampunilah hamba-MU ini
:(

Monday, April 12, 2010

mixed up

Hari ini kita kutuk orang,
Hari esok atau lusa tak mustahil kita jd mcm ape yg kita kutuk tu.
Hari ini kita sayang orang tu,
Bulan depan atau tahun depan kita dh menyampah dengan dia.
Hari ini kita sakitkan hati orang,
Lusa, atau minggu depan kita pulak yg sakit hati.
Memang hidup ini begitu.
What you give is what you get back.
Don't expect life to be so sweet because you'll never know how sweet it is until you taste something bitter.
Appreciate life as it is,
and spread kindness to all.
choose your words carefully as people might get hurt.
make people laugh.
make people smile.
say thanks.
say I love you more often.
forgive what had happened because we'll never know when or how we ended up our beautiful life..

Senyum selalu

Just imagine you are at a mall,standing in front of an ATM machine. To withdraw some money, to buy something nice to bite.
It was 5p.m and you haven't eat anything except a raisin bun with a cup of tea, at 11 a.m.
(You only have 2 MYR in your wallet).
When you insert the card, suddenly you forgot the pin number entirely. It IS strange because it never happen before. Never.

Panic. Blank.
Begitulah perasaan sy td. Sy telah mengalami hilang ingatan ttg no pin yg tak pernah sy lupa sejak memiliki kad kuning berlogo harimau itu.
Dua kali percubaan dan sy gagal menekan no yg betul.
Sy takut untuk mencuba kali ke3. Sy beredar dgn perasaan yg scattered.
Senyum.
This is totally unbelievable,sambil ketawa seorang diri.
Sy tenangkan diri, lalu bersiar-siar sekitar tempat kejadian.
Sms jiran depan bilik,walaupun tahu agak mustahil beliau igt no pin itu.

Dalam kecelaruan otak sy sempat masuk ke Watson, Parkson dan 2 3 kali naik turun tangga bergerak.

Tak igt juga. Damn.
Masih x percaya dgn apa yg berlaku. Sambil lalu lalang sy terhidu aroma corn in cup. Damn lg.
Dekat dgn ATM machine ada bakery, aroma dia pun xboleh tahan. Damness...
Dgn berbekalkan 20sen sy mghampiri telefon awam dn mendail kakak.
(Bukan beliau tau pun no pin tu,saje nk mengadu)
Kecoh sekejap.
Hampir2 kakakku menyuruh abg di Selayang dtg membantu adik mereka ini.
Bagus juga terlupa no pin ni.heheh.

Tak sanggup menunggu lebih lama, sy kembali ke mesin ATM. Sewaktu bersiar2 td, ada teringat 1 kombinasi no, tp tak terlalu confirm.
Try saje, plg teruk pun kad tu xkeluar semula.
Alhamdulillah.
Percubaan berjaya.
Terus bergegas ke bakery.Raisin stick dri The Baker's Cottage mmg terbaik. Selain itu sempat grab 2 potong kek coffee flavor.
Dh lewat ptg, so cepat2 masuk Giant dan ambil ape yg patut. Beli barang2 dapur, walaupun realitinya sy mmg xde dapur di bilik sempit tu.
Baby carrot, fresh tomatoes, jambu, biskut, mee segera, sosej,chipsmore, dan sekotak uncang teh hijau.
Dalam hati sudah niat xmahu ke kafe lg. Cukuplah malam td tummy ku rase senak akibat kue tiaw kungfu.
Lgpun menu2 kafe sudah amat membosankan.

Kesimpulannye hari ini sy rasa puas kerana diuji perkara baru.
Sy berjaya menghadapi suatu masa yg sukar tanpa menangis atau mengeluh.
Senyum selalu. :D

Kasut Kegemaran saya

telah Di tag oleh cik ziha.
oleh itu mari kita zoom in..yeah!


Kasut Hijau ini adalah pemberian bua hatiku ye tuan2& puan2..
sy sgt sukakan design nye..kalernye yg hijau juga kegemaranku. Bila memakainye sy rase selesa dan rase ingin berlari-lari sedikit, seperti seorang Star.Dan itulah juga namanye, All Star,cucu kpd Converse.



Seterusnya kasut B.u.m biru ini,yg dibeli sewaktu tahun pertama. Sekarang sy masih memakainye, tp cuma waktu berjogging atau camping, mcm kt Pulau Pangkor hari tu. Sy mmg sukakan kasut bertali sebegini ye tuan2 & puan2. Sbb sy sukakan aktiviti cergas. Sy juga selalu berlari2 untuk mengejar bas atau komuter atau lrt kerna sy slalu lambat ke mana shj. Jd kasut sebegini mmg pilihan pertama. Selain tidak menyakitkan kaki, kaki sy juga terlindung drpd habuk2 dan kotoran dr persekitaran.





Okey yg ketiga, kasut XES yg dibeli di Jusco mana tah kt KL. Bermodalkan duit raye yg diberi oleh abg ipar ye tuan2 & puan2..Hmmm material baldu dan warna coklat die yg menarik hati. Lgpun bua hati sy yg tlg pilih. Sy pun suka jelah.hik2.Tp mmg best pakai, lama jgk la blasah kasut ni.Kemana2 shj.Skang pun oke lg..cuma rasanye die pun da penat berkhidmat. So sy bia je beliau dlm kotak.





Kasut coklat ini juga kegemaran sy. Dgn harga 17 MYR shj ye tuan2 & puan2, selepas diskaun. Selesa, fleksible dan kiut. Tp oleh krn terlalu kerap memblasah beliau, beliau pun mcm dh lembik sgt. Xboleh pakai lg. But still I love the design damn much.




Kasut cap buaya ini juga telah begitu lama berkhidmat. Beliau begitu comfy skali. Pilihan yg bagus jika ingin meluangkan masa di mall selama berjam2. Dijamin xde sakit kaki atau lenguh2.


Sy selalu mengingatkan diri sy. Kalau ingin membeli kasut, pilihla yg paling selesa, berkualiti dan yg penting skali bersesuaian dgn bajet. Ini kerana kasut bertanggungjawab melindungi kawasan kaki, bukan menyakitkan.
okey tuan2 dan puan2..sekian shj zoom in bersama kasut2 kegemaran sy. Sehingga berjumpa di lain masa...zasssss

Saturday, April 10, 2010

xde passion..kena cari lust.that's it.

A scattered mind

I love to be surrounded by people. Charming people. Happy people. Caring and loving people. People who knows how to have fun. People who make things better when life's turning upside down.
Now I'm lonely in this tiny room. Thank God I have Teddy..He is the only thing that I can hug and kiss and snuggle under my blanket. The one who picked up Teddy for me no longer love me. He hate me for dumping him for another guy. Yes, this is a true story.
I love my Teddy anyway.

It was the end of January, 2008. The beginning of a new journey. A new love story.
It was the first date after a few times chatting and hours of phone calls. I just follow my instinct. I have no idea why I've said yes and "pick me up at 5,UKM".
He is a total stranger and I haven't chicken out at all, like I always did. We talk and laugh and tease. That's all.( and, we dine in,ok. )
Hell no, it wasn't 'love at the first sight'. That day I was looking at him like a new friend who is friendly, and weird. The next day we went for another date. Followed by phone calls every day or every time he wasn't engaged with any work at the office. We talked for hours. He's trying hard to make me laugh over his jokes.
Two years full of laughing and crying.

God, I love him. I miss him badly. No one could ever been so special in my life.

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

jawatan kosong


motif bergambar di kolam?
mase tu konon2 nk belajar berenang..hak3
hmm teringat zaman sekolah menengah dulu,form 4 camping kt Sg Lembing. Mandi sungai..berenang.lumba ngn cikgu.last2 lemas.junior plak tu yg selamatkan.
peh...gelabah giler.mse dh selamat kt tebing tu br la terpikir,kalau lemas n xtimbul2 td cmne? arus deras lak tu. aduhai..
pastu dh takut nk masuk air dlm2.
skang ni..dlm poses nk atasi kefobiaan tuh. ade sape2 sanggup nk jd coach?nak yg f.o.c je, sbb lum keje lg, makan pun mummy daddy tanggung. :D
n one more thing, sy nk yg howt dan tough je taw.awwww...

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

menu hari ini...





**gambar di atas hanya hiasan ek**
saje je upload menu masa sambut hari jadi kawan sy dulu.awal bulan mac. erm..rasanya masih terngiang2 kn cik husna?
sedapnye...sebab sy masak sendiri.ngeh3..:P (cik husna provide alat memasak di bilik beliau)
hari ni menu sy simple jek. megi Sedap dan air teh(simple kan?sbb poket pun tgh simple skang,har3).tu untuk lunch. minum petang plak biskut jagung ngn air teh lg.hehe.sy xboleh minum kopi,nescafe dan sebagainye.dh bnyak kali cuba minum coffee but then badan mgigil,tatau sbb pe.nescafe plak,buat my tummy masuk angin.sungguh xbesh.
kalau ayah,kakak ku di Gerik tau ni mesti mereka sedey.cpt2 bank in duet belanje.dorang bila tau sy mamam megi mesti kecian abis.hehe.tp xpelah,blanje ade agi cuma hmmmphh.. modal tuk berjalan2 dan bershopping2 xde :P

Rindu kt baby leesya..

leesya ngn atok..huhu.dua2 i rindu

Thursday, April 1, 2010

A wish

somehow I just want to forget everything about you.
I sleep and wish the next morning I wake up, there will be no YOU inside me.
I must go on with my life and never turn back.

and I wish I can do that.


.........
.........

but I failed each time.

And

you must be very thankful of that failure.

because I'm a type that U'll never ever find anymore

who doesnt have heart to get back if I have manage to let go

.............
.............

be ready to face the fact when my wish does come true.

Friday, March 26, 2010

RM 50

50 MYR doesn't really last more than a week at this age.
baru rase cam semalam cucuk kt mesin atm, haish tetibe da tinggal 30?
ade yg teruk tu bila dh sampai mall, 50 mcm 10. pastu bila turun rapid,kt kolej mcm nk bli topup lak. dh 10 hengget melayang..(topup lak kena tolak 2 hengget pasal wat request).hahahaha..

lunch kt KB skang ni mahal beb. Dulu I mamam RM3.50 plg mahal. Skang more than RM4 tau. (Mana taknye dok makan ikan bakar jek.hahah).salahkah aku? ikan2 tu sgt menggoda beb...tempat yg I slalu lunch ngn member2 Elite tu lah faveret I stakat ni. Erm lg 1 tempat besh dan murah..Canselori. Sedddappp.pilihan banyak. tak mcm 1 cafe kt Za'ba ni, dah dekat 2 taon i duduk cni..makanan tetap sama,malah kedudukan serving pun xberubah langsung.haih..agaknye bos dorg ni mmg xsukakan perubahan kowt.
kamonla...dua taon mengadap mende sama xbosan ke?? dulu mmg slalu tapau ctu,skang ni tgk makanan kt ctu pun i xde nafsu.huuuu..

Skang ni I kena betul2 berjimat. Sebelum ni x aware pun pasal perbelanjaan ni. Slalu ikut hati jer.Ikut sedap selera.Xlama lg nk kerja.haaaa mase tula br tau susah payah cari duit kn..

pesanan penaja:berjimatcermatlahkamusebelomkamudijimatkan.ahahahaha!

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

tekak sakit..
kepala pening..
tulang rase sengal..
tdo mlm 2 3 jam jek.
ayah...nk balik..
duduk cni suma org nk blasah kite..
torture emosi kte..





pewut lapa...
sapela nk hidangkan makanan tuk i ni..
time cmni teringat blueberry cheese cake, kt kafe za'ba
cheese tart die pun sgt menggoda..

azmel ni ajak mcD saje je kan..
smlm da mamam fastfood
xkan hri ni nk bantai fastfood lg?
kalau pekena ikan bakar Ube catering okey gak.(kt KB UKM)

aduh...pening kepala lg..
terpaksa baring2 ngn teddy sj hari ni.esok la g mkn...

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

semalam saya dh ckp,
kalau buat discussion lepas lecture 2 jam tu,mmg xboleh dtg.pg ada kelas. 2-4pm lecture.then nk sambung groupwork lg? no way!sebab? i've got 3 hours physical training that night. tolongla faham..dr awal lg dh bg tau..buatla discussion bila2 anda suma suka, but not monday n wednesday nite.
training dh mmg teruk kena blasah then kena balik jalan kaki ke za'ba.ye, sy ulangi jalan kaki balik za'ba. anda suma warga ukm atau yang penah tau jarak dr padang taqraw ke za'ba akan tau betapa azabnye kami waktu pulang.

isnin petang mmg saya xdatang lecture terus, dan of course gagal hadir group discussion. then malam pun xdatang training coz mmg xlarat sgt. these few days i've gone through chronic sleeplessness nights. backpain, headache, n tummy pun xselesa.
sy sungguh xsuka bila dipaksa buat sesuatu diluar minat dan kesungguhan. but for the sake of another group members, I'm always willing to offer the best that I can give.


yet someone had thrown harsh words to me this afternoon.
someone yg penah aku hormat, puji depan kawan2, and admire as a good leader in UKM.

sangat mengguris perasaan. aku xpenah tolak kalau nk bg task untuk group project.
tp ayat die tu bunyi mcm ckp aku ni xnk buat kerja langsung. satu tuduhan yg amat berat untuk diterima pakai.

sebelum ni penah nk buat discussion mlm jumaat.aku okey je. pastu dorg plak cancel. then, ni kali kedua nk berjumpa, bila aku xdapat dtg, tetiba kena sound plak. bnyak cantek muka ko! bukan aku xbg tau xboleh dtg.siang2 lg dh ckp, xlarat sbb mlm ade training!!!! bodo!!!!!!!!!! nama je pengerusi.tp ...(hai mls nk mencarut lg. kedut2 mata i nti).

hajat hati nk sound balik, tp xpelah, dr membazir kedit ckp ngn org xpaham bhsa baik telefon mak ayah kt umah.

seb baik pas lecture g sambut birthday kt town(haha town la sgt)
lantak la pasal die tu xmahu pk lg. buang masa je.

saya okey kawan2, bila saya xpuas hati saya luahkan cukup2 dan cuba maafkan.
i tell u wat, kalau nk buat marah saya hilang serta merta bawak la g makan2 atau main buaian.hehe.
skarang ni umur saya dh 22 tahun.
tima kaseh pada bonda dan ayahanda tercinta, I wouldn't make it if you two hadn't been there for me.

hari ni perasaan kecewa dan sakit hati telah dapat digantikan dgn kegembiraan yg tiada nilai. tima kasih kpd pihak penganjur, cik ziha, cik husna kerana hadiah yg sgt comel..then kepada suma yg hadir td..cik yatie, cik ziela, cik sharon, cik nadhrah,cik tiqah dan cik maissarrah..bersama kamu semua telah membuat pipiku penat untuk ketawa. terlupa sekejap ada timbunan project sedang menunggu di bilik.

okey skang sila tutup fb dan buka file thesis. senyum dan mulakan memegang pen dan buku catatan. jangan! jangan cuba2 nk buka page fb lg..kerana confirm anda akan terus xsedar diri lalu melupakan tesis..kecian dia..xde yg sanggup luangkan masa dgn die..hehe

tiada harapan yg pasti buat kita..

tak tahu
tak pasti
keliru
kecewa
marah
bosan
benci
rindu dan cinta
semua telah kalah

Monday, March 22, 2010

kenapa?

dunia ini sungguh bosan.
hari-hari kita perlu lakukan sesuatu yang membosankan.
sesuatu diluar minat dan kesungguhan.

sekejap ketawa,lepas tu sedih
sekejap rindu, lepas tu benci


i need a vacation mungkin?
di tempat yg sejuk, bersama yg tersayang.

again, who is that tersayang?
i think i'm ready to let u go

but i don't know if there is another people who will
love me the way u are.
i'm crying inside and nobody knows

Saturday, March 20, 2010

emosi terganggu

RAHMAT / EKAMATRA --
~Di sini kasih ku abadi~


Di sini hati ku terluka
Setelah kasih ku berbunga
Sungguh tak ku sangka

Tiada lagi airmata
Hendak ku tangiskan untuk mu
Yang tinggal hanyalah
Duka dan pilu

Di mana harum mawar yang setia
Di mana hilangnya kubu cinta
Sukarnya berpisah dengan diri mu
Sukarnya melupakan oh dirimu

Jangan kau tinggalkan diri ku
Jangan kau berpaling kasih mu
Jangan kau biarkan diri ku
Sepi tanpa mu

Sayangku kembalilah pada ku
Tiada tempat untuk mengadu
Sayangku berikanlah kasih mu
Buat diri ku

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Go Green!..



This coming saturday, 20th Mac (Happy becoming birthday cik Husna!) I'll be going to Jalan Sg Panjang, Sg Besar Selangor. There will be a marcotting and wildlings collection exercise in conjunction with World Forestry Day Celebrations, 2010. This is the first time I'm involving myself with such a volunteer program and yet I can barely wait to see what's happening there. The green nature inside me is going to be so excited and alive. All this while I've gone through hard times when I do things that are out of my passion. I've done many things half-heartedly or no heart at all for the sake of a degree or other people that matter most, my parents. This time around, I wish I could have so much fun and meet new people with new environment.

On Friday, I'll be out to Kajang in order to find a nice pair of gloves and maybe sunblock cream. and I need hat too!

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

my acer and Hafiz

dan manusia perlu bersabar, i mean sgt bersabar.

Khamis lepas my acer tiba2 shutdown tanpa notis. Oh, panik. I tried to calm down, take a deep breath and press the power button. At the first few seconds I believe there's nothing wrong because the green light appear,that's mean it can be power-on as usual. And then suddenly the acer shutdown again. Three times attempt and it keeps on being dead.Damn. The worst nightmare seems to become real. The next day and after the next day the acer had been my helpless company. Okey, this is the best time to breakdown honey, since I am running out of money, and I didn't even paid for PPBL's prep and convo's lamination fees and... and...

I hate asking for money, even from my parents or my sister or my brother. But I've got no choice. The repairing must cost me a fortune. Otherwise I have to rob a bank or at least rob that Kedai Adam uphill. I know that mak cik got a loot of money because she sells everything double the price compared to Giant.

Gloomy, annoyed and distress
.
That would definitely describe my weekend and Mournful Monday. It was mournful because after a few effort done to reach out the sponsor for a repairing service, my heart sank. A visit to a repairing shop--Pusanika make it even worst. 380 MYR. No, it couldn't be that much..

During this hardtime I realized, No one could offer me something that I needed most, a moral support. I need hugs. I need someone to kiss away my tears.

Nevertheless I keep on reminding myself, somehow or someday I'll get through this. There is something He want me to see and be grateful for.
but the painful journey to that someday is killing me....

Thank God He heard me.Yesterday before I go to bed I wished somehow tomorrow morning I'll wake up in heaven. So do I.
After a visit to the library at 1:30 p.m, I went down at Aminuddin's bustop. Waiting for Rapid or 6Z, I've planned to runaway from UKM. To find peace. To make me feel better. Then only I saw my saviour's flyer.. A Uniten's programmer, Hafiz. I text him rightaway. At 3 p.m he's already waiting at the parking lot at Za'ba. I gave him my acer and he left. 6 hours later he gave me a call. I got my acer back and he charge me 125 MYR. What? I saved 255 MYR???!

thank you mommy, daddy
I wouldn't make it if you two hadn't be there for me.

Monday, March 8, 2010

They need volunteers..


Love our mother nature..

A few minutes visit can make a big difference into your life.

see you there!

MAMPAN dan Remaja

Program mmg best, nasihat saya remaja skarang kena lebih banyak dgr ceramah daripada tokoh2 intelek negara. Perlu kurangkan masa berfoya-foya, tak kisahla dgn facebook ataupun dgn boyfriend/girlfriend. Sebab saya yakin, keluar berdating banyak buruk dari baiknya. X setuju? saya boleh berikan sebab kenapa saya berkata sedemikian;

okey pertama, duit habis; tambang komuter/minyak kereta, tol, tgk wayang, makan fastfood, main bowling, shopping dan etc. Bila tiba masa bayar duit buku, buat projek, pandai pulak ckp no money..dgn mulut muncung xpuas hati(bayar buku sama harga dgn tiket wayang)

Kedua, pergaulan bebas. Hmm isu ni sensitif sbb kalau saya ulas banyak2 mesti ada yang kata'eleh mcm la kau tu baik sgt'. ok,fine. But I can't help myself from cursing those 'loving couples' yg sungguh xmalu dan xtau jaga maruah agama. Pakai tudung tp peluk2 sakan dalam train? WTH?!Euuu sungguh meluat.Macam la kau sorg ade kekaseh. Then mula lah kecoh dlm berita buang bayi sana sini.

Ketiga
Melalaikan. Hmm..Bila dh ralit ngn kekaseh, masing2 lupa tanggungjawab yg lebih besar,lebih utama, kepada pencipta kita semua. 'Tp x semua org mcm tu'. Bila difikirkan balik, bab solat tak tinggal, tp pegang tgn kekaseh bukan main erat,siap peluk pinggang lg. Mcm org baru kawin..Malah lebih...

Saya tau saya bukanlah org yg layak nk komen mende2 mcm kt atas tu.Hak masing2 nk tentukan bagaimana cara hidup yg anda pilih. cuma waktu ni hati terdetik untuk luahkan rasa hati. Setiap hari melihat kepincangan yg berlaku dikalangan bakal pemimpin negara. Saya sendiri sedang dalam proses memperbaiki kelemahan diri. Saya pun buat salah, dan perlu sentiasa mengingatkan diri sendiri.
********
Program anjuran Mahasiswa Anak2 Pahang siang td amat menarik dan bermanfaat. Input yg diberikan adalah berbentuk motivasi yang disampaikan dlm bentuk yg berkesan dan mesra alam. Xdapat saya huraikan panjang disini,maaf. Semuanya save dlm otak dan sekarang operation da semakin slow kerana mengantuk.Jadi sebelum mengakhiri entri ini, saya nk hidangkan pembaca semua(kalau ada) dgn gambar2 yg sempat diambil sebelum kamera kesayangan habis bateri.huhu


Tunggu bas yg dijanjikan pukul 7 pg..pukul 8:30 bru nas sampai..

Waktu ni baru sampai MMU
perghhh penat jalan.tp bila ada mamarazi terus senyum lebar mereka ni..
mila and ayin(warga johor yg dipaksa join program =p)



saye..dan mila..kami pinky girls

Saturday, March 6, 2010

A gift for a friend..


Last 3rd march was my friend's birthday. A good friend from my secondary school who I suddenly realized that we've known each other for almost ten years. yeah,ten years, starting from form 1 (2001) till now, 2010.

I'm sorry for not inviting u guys..especially kwn2 Elit yg teringin nk mamam spagheti saya..hehe. Last minute punye plan, the idea had just pop out like that after a short phone call he made (to ensure I'm aware of his big day,haha). It's already late when I took the bus to Kajang and bought the ingredients at Giant.

Thank God one of our friend is very kind to let me use her so-called-kitchen. She got a damn gorgeous room, which I really had fall head over heels. Mcm resort, they had a nice balcony (bgn pg the first thing I did was standing there and breath the fresh air,looking at those heart-warming pinky kemboja.) Sgt jeles dgn her place. And I managed to mess them up and come back to my little nest the next morning.

I don't know y, mase tgh prepare the meals I felt very excited and happy and calm and motivated, as if I've done a very big thing that could have changed my life forever. haha,exaggerated. Mesti seronok kan, ada seorang kwan yg masakkan untuk kita..and I think this is far better than donating ur money to buy secret recipes' cake or Domino's or Carls Jr. or whichever u guys 'love' a lot. What I'm trying to do here is giving the sense of esthetical value into a friendship. Money is not everything, we all know that but people now are becoming anxious to spend more to show 'more love' to the one we care.


to my friends who read this, I hope we can find one fine day to get together and cook for ourselves.

tomorrow I've got a perhimpunan Mahasiswa Pahang from all IPTA/IPTS at MMU cyberjaya. Hopefully it will be another great day for us. Till then, bubbye!

~Life is beautiful, in a sense that it covers a lot of painful experiences, enjoyable moments and something that we could never expected to happen. After all, those pains will likely open up other chances of happiness, even in the most little things that we never ever notice before~

Friday, March 5, 2010

Percy?

This is Percy , the one that I've picked up from za'ba, it has travelled for 5 hours in the bus with me, and eventually we landed up safely at home. It tooks time to grow but thanks to mom who take good care of this plant while I'm away at uni. Once in a month(s) I'll go home for a holiday and never forget to check out it's growth.
This plant had actually reminds me of my childhood.
I used to love gardening so much and I've spent most of my time with flowers instead of playing like other kids. Watching my mom planting vegetable seeds and watering them twice a day is a wonderful feeling that I could never found in other things. The most interesting part is when we harvest the cucumbers, eggplants, okras and long beans. Dad will take part in harder task, growing banana trees as well as papayas.
Cycling and playing with colorful plasticine are fun, but with those green things I feel more connected, (with nature). At that time, talking to orchids is one of the best therapy, especially after I had a fistfight with my grumpy big brother.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

good news n bad news

for the good news, click here

the bad news is, i need help with an ipod. last 2 days my brother had plugged the tiny thing to my laptop, which already vulnerable with viruses inside. a few hours later he came to me with a pale face. i know something bad had happened. uwaaaaa...the problem is, the green thing had a firmware damaged and i need to restore it using i-tunes. guess wat i failed miserably. somebody pls help coz i dont hv much time to go for a repairing service.

Monday, March 1, 2010

3 tahun dulu..

aku naik bas dgn sedeh hati, meninggalkan keluarga..tuk belajar di matrik Gambang. menempuh 3 jam perjalanan dgn penuh kesayuan. kenapa mesti belajar jauh2? tinggalkan family sume? kenapa perlu hadapi kepayahan sorg2? kenapa perit sgt perasaan yg ditanggung ni? kenapa..kenapa..dan KENAPA...
sebelum belajar di matrik, lima tahun aku habiskan kt semsas, .yg tu xpayah ckp r..setahun pertama mcm nk bunuh diri.walaupun xkena buli, aku cukup menyampah dgn senior. oh..kena basuh baju sendiri. iron baju sendiri. polish kasut sendiri.kemas loker.kemas dorm.basuh tray sendiri.eh basuh cawan jer-okey,kami makan dlm tray,bukan pinggan tau. peraturan itu dan ini. semuanya terlalu baru dan asing. memori tu suma kalau nk letak kt cni..88 mlm 89 hari pun x abis.

skang bebalik kpd cerita untuk menaiki bas.ya, bas. untuk ke kuantan, aku kena naik bas sri jengka, yg men ambik je penumpang,sumbat sampai tangga.
duduk asrama mana boleh balik rumah sesuka hati. kena isi kad balik bermalam, kumpul 1 kelas,bg kt warden bertugas. mase nk keluar pagar kena benti kt postguard, tulis nama dalam buku rekod ikut form. then bermulalah perjalanan yg sungguh meletihkan.

dua hari je duk rumah..xbnyak yg boleh dibuat.belum habis melepas rindu kt family, dh kena balik asrama. part ni yg plg sedih..waktu menaip ni pun aku rasa air mata ni bergenang...

(kad balik bermalam kena mintak signature ayah. ayah i sempoi, die suh i sign sendiri jek.)

waktu nak bersalam ngn parents tu yg xtahan. sedihnye xboleh nk digambarkan. aku jeles ngn adik2, yg xperlu jd mcm aku, travel ke tempat org,hadapi semuanya dgn keterpaksaan. aku xpernah berenggang ngn mak..jd bila dh masuk asrama, ohhh sukarnya hidup. pernah sekali aku berhasrat nk call mak, pergila ke public phone tepi dewan makan. rindu punya pasal, dapat dgr suara pun jadila. bila mak jawab panggilan tu, aku diam. xboleh nk berkata walau sepatah pun.sebak sgt. 2 3 minit aku diam je.
pastu aku kuatkan semangat, aku ckp.."helo mak..adik ni..rindu."..
pastu hujan pun turun dgn lebatnye. aku tahan, tutup mulut supaya mak xdgr aku teresak-esak. kami diam,xckp apa-apa. gagang telefon tu dah basah. duit syiling pun dh nak abis. sempat ckp bbrapa minit je lepas tu. suara mak pun lain, aku tau mak pun sedih. :(

kelas bahasa melayu pertama aku dgn cikgu Asmui, merangkap ayah kawan baik aku; Fatiehah. Benda pertama yg die suh kitorg tulis, aku igt tajuk die sampai skarang:
"Hari pertama saya di SEMSAS"
Aku gagal kawal emosi. Baru tulis beberapa perkataan, aku dah sebak. basah kertas karangan aku. Afiqah cuba pujuk, oh lagi lebatla hujan turun.


Hmm..itulah pengalaman. Skarang aku tahu apa gunanya kisah duka tu suma. Tuhan jadikan aku seorang yg empathy..

Adik aku, yani skang blajar kt matrik. tempat aku dulu. bila aku pandang die, tlg kemas barang2 die..sayu jgk hati ni. kesian adik..nak x nak mesti ada jgk perasaan yg aku rasa dulu. rasa xnk balik kolej. rasa xnk keluar rumah.

Aku cuma mampu berdoa, semoga tuhan tabahkan hati kami, semoga perjalanan untuk menimba ilmu ni dipermudahkan.Amin.

Friday, February 26, 2010

nasib sebuah meja

here i am, still awake and able to hug my teddy(under my armpit) while bersila on the bed,facing the desk. oh..what a mess..first drawer ade sangkut beg kuliah. makeup err not actually makeup--just johnson's baby oil, lotion and baby powder are jam-packed in the small pink container.not to forget a bottle of eversoft olive oil,(xmuat nk masuk pink container) two empty water bottles, a flask, an empty jar, a knife(knife?!), a green skinned manggo, a small plastic of chillies, laptop cooler, sepit rambut putih, bluetooth adapter, pen memandu, sikat ungu, small scissors, a tortoise(which meant to be put on a decent fridge), a mirror laying beside a miserable stack of papers and last 4 semesters' novels. the wrapping paper which is covering the naked table looks helplessly torn and pathetic. but the design is so sweet with lots of luv in colorful tone, making it impossible to be taken away before end of semester; or to be exact, the final day of my undergraduate's life.

i live in such a messy place. sakit mata memandang, berat bahu memikul. but i can't do anything bout it. it takes me days to discover the fact that the floor hadn't been swept for too long, because i wear slippers in my room. small things here and there keep on poking my sight, but as always, i think that is the only place where they belongs to. are you sure? a bottle of --- shampoo,halfway used hide beside the left kaki of my desk. on the right pula, there is an acer laptop box with books inside and on top of it, Buncho poster color, undefined brand of water color, and a cute green flowery palette. there is also unfinished bottle of ----shampoo which i've found that the smell can be heaven but the effect is like hell. a johnson's baby complete travel kit can be found on that acer box too.

that is only the front part of my view. and i'm not going to tell any about my laundry basket.huhu. believe it or not, this is the place where i've been living for months and even i've tried to keep all things arranged, they'll end up not looking as if have been neatly done. sampai masa, xde hati nk mengemas langsung, then gi lah merayap kt tempat org yg kemas ckit,. mess up their place and come back to my nest. cuddling with my teddy on the bed and nuzzle after his furs.
such a great, ultimate indulgence!

Thursday, February 25, 2010

oh penat..tp mau jalan2..mines kah? midvalley kah? i'm craving for new pairs of shoes, heels and handbag. u know wat, this is a common feeling when there are a lot of hard work to be done, not enough sleep and my effort seems to be squeezed to the fullest. wat a hectic week.and i'm totally weak now. there is a need to indulge myself with new things..fresher environment.

banyak yg dh bertanya, y they haven't heard of me telling stories about mizan anymore.
ok.thats a sign. terlalu bnyk bercerita ttg memori yg manis dan lucu bersama dia dan sekarang nothing happened. we just ignore each other and thats it. the thing is, i've loose the dependency on him. i can be happy without being around him. i can laugh and do my own stuff without thinking of those great moments, not even a minute. i used to do that u know. every single thing i saw, there are stories behind. my paintings, my shoes, shirts, mr teddy, blanket,...etc.

there was a time when i brought along my drawing block and oil pastel when going out with him. maybe tak tahan sbb boleh tgk je, dia pun nk melukis jgk. okey, since he insist, i handed over the stuff. hmm..drawing, in his sense is some lines here and there, messy. but then, at the end of it,tada...those scratch end up being a picture of me, (i assumed) because thats the way i've been sitting beside him at the moment.

and see, i can elaborate more on how he do that and do these. how special,funny and annoying he is.

now its 1:46 p.m, time to dressed up and leave. i've got a date. with a schoolmate, a boy friend. in form 3 he used to be the class monitor and i'm his assistant. (there is only five girls in the class out of 30 students). he is a good friend okey.
apparently not as what u guys think.

Monday, February 22, 2010

kata hati

Start maghrib td air xde kt kolej.thats a good thing.

now we're working on the poster presentation-Prodigal Son from Bible and Lotus Sutra(Buddha).

penat.otak asyik pk nk baring.
tp kalau surf internet xtdo sampai pg pun xpe.haha

theme:magical gorgeous-glorious-glamorous for dinner.tgh survey blogshop.jd witch pun okey gak per.

before poster discussion begin(tgu cik ayin) sempat webcaming ngn baby leesya..wawawa..tomeynye..rindu rindu rindu..

yahoo messenger start wat hal.abis r sume org marah kite anta virus kt dorg.

sedapnye ketupat ngn rendang shida's bf bwk..huhu.betuah btol igt nk bwk tuk awek tuuu.romantik r..heheh.

amizan marah lg tak? sori syg, i mmg nk hurt ur feelings.huhu

ayin da lelap.poster lum siap ag, how?sape nk tolong kiteee..pliss i need help!

Sunday, February 21, 2010

daddy: belajar rajin2 me: errrr..hm..okey.

in order to belajar rajin2..i hv to..

do more readings

less internet surfing

and maybe have to start making paid visits to MPH or BOarders.

this week? ouhhh i hv to cut down my shopping list for more books. that's terrible. horrible.unforgivable.

Friday, February 12, 2010

i dont love you like i love you yesterday

Thursday, February 11, 2010

healing

a cheerful heart does good like medicine, but a broken spirit makes one sick.

Monday, February 8, 2010

hmmm..

yang berkurang itu umur yang hampir itu ajal yang berat itu amanah

Sunday, February 7, 2010

stay away from my tongue

someone is coming and he might leave someday.no, he should. don't stay for too long coz i might drown you no matter what.


this emptiness is killing me..


lama xmain volleyball.
those sweet memories, semsas and dot dot dot.


now i'm here. counting the day to bid farewell to this plain uni. preparing for the next chapter of life.


semangat pinjam buku banyak2, bace tak. artikel basnet n remak mmg menyemak. sgt menyemak sampai xlalu makan+tdo.i need to go out.anywhere would be nice. but ktm sucks. rapidkl sucks.

pg td tido pukul 4,melayan sorg mat salleh yg plain.hahah.

Friday, February 5, 2010

i miss u

i miss u
i miss u
i miss u
i miss u
i miss u
i miss u
i miss u
i miss u
i miss u
i miss u
i miss u
i miss u
i miss u
i miss u
i miss u
(to the people i hate most)

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Sending Love game

Step 1:Entering into retreat: Choose someone to whom you want to send love. Then sit comfortably and focus on holding this person in your heart for three minutes. Use your awareness of your breath to keep you focused.

Step 2: For the next 15 minutes, visualize sending love to this person in a variety of ways or choose the way that works best for you. Imagine this person surrounded by white light. Imagine you can send loving messages to this person and that they will receive them. This is L-mail (love mail)as opposed to e-mail. Radiate loving energy from your heart directly to their heart. Visualize this person as happy and feeling loved. See them in your mind's eye doing what they most love to do. Imagine their energy field radiating and pulsating with golden light.

Step 3: Returning to the world: For the last 2 minutes, focus your awareness on your own breathing. Be unattached to any outcome of your sending love.

~20-minute retreats. Harris, Rachel.2000. Henry Holt and Company.New York

Monday, February 1, 2010

hidup mesti ada matlamat..

..and i don't see any in our relationship.lately i've been thinking about someone else that is far better than him. better in something that he couldn't afford to learn. i just don't understand why he keep on living a life like that. i just wana see some little improvements; have been waiting more than a year for that. and now it's time to get frustrated. am tired of waiting. letih mengharapkan sesuatu yg xpasti dr seseorang yg amat disayangi.i know nobody's perfect. me either.maybe that is why i still missed him badly,even it is just a two-days-away from kl.

Burnell said you don't have to rely on anybody else for your happiness and security.

but he is the only one i couldn't bear to keep apart.

rindu itu menyakitkan.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Simply seductive

Looking at these gorgeous maxi dress makes my jaw dropped. feminine, stunning and fabulous! one day I have to try one of these and people will definitely turned heads around.haha

those who are interested to purchase, kindly refer to the link provided.happy shopping!

price RM56
refer to this site





Get them at RM62 only
click here for more details

Monday, January 25, 2010

wat an empty life..

last friday i make up my mind not to go anywhere but finish the assignment.

Wake up in the early empty saturday..make a cup of choco milk as breakfast and tried to do some reading...

After 10 minutes I've started thinking. How boring it is to be stranded lonely in my empty room. Yes. IT is empty and no one could ever imagine how hurt it is. Okey, never mind, I still have the courage to stick myself with the article of Basnett and Remak.

That article can't hold me longer than 20 minutes. I just can't bear the torture. Then a green object caught my eyes. I peeled them of and cut it into cubes. It is good enough to fill this empty stomach.

Phone calls aren't enough to keep me company. I need u honey..

At 4 p.m

I was so disappointed to reveal the fact that the concert was postponed while the marathon needs form to be filled in before i can join them. Crap!

The urge to see you is unbearable. Lets pack a few things and just leave.

No.
YEs.
No.
Yes.
No.


Walking pass the KFC and was reminded the sweet moment with you honey..Suddenly i realized i was at Giant in Kajang and was doing some shopping. Going through some pasta and jars of Prego. Finally pick them up at the third round. And a can of mushroom would be nice. A tube of minced meat, two slices of boneless chicken breast. the wonderful feelings. Then dropped by at the Cottage Bakery to purchased an orange sponge cake and a cheese bun.

Now wat? Ow..the journey to Pendamar isn't that enjoyable. Its okey its alright as long as i can see you honey, the two hours of waiting is nothing much.

The arrival.


Lets stop here as I don't want to forget those great moments.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

I miss my COMOT

CUTE, spoiled, funny, understanding and somehow furious. That is me, more or less like a cat. Sometimes a cat is energetic, playful and cautious. Sometimes it will only sleep and sleep all the time. I used to have a cat which will ask for food politely; when I was sitting on the chair, she stand up with her hind leg and put the front paws on my lap,tapping while meowing. The sound she makes are persuasively soft. We called her COMOT because she has three colors scattered on her fur. Her tail is short and tangled. Now she had gone and we decided not to keep a cat in the house anymore. Here are some pictures in my collection, I feel like smiling when going through these...






one of my entry for E-method blogpost.hehe



another one..

the reality is..I am a sad cute cat.Now.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

looking for a part time job

there is only a few months left before i finish the degree. oh my... i haven't decide yet what i'm going to do with my life after that. is there any option that allows me to goyang kaki and earn money? i mean a looooot of money. hahah. it is ridiculous, unless you marry someone who have had a wife( or maybe wivess), the one who got title, or any hotel owner; like gong chan in mygirl does. get married is one more thing. a survey said you will only be able to be a wealthy people (work efficiently) if you have fulfilled the basic needs--one of them is SEX (refer to maslow theory).that is quite interesting. haha. i believe it is true. for muslims, we have to get MARRIED legally to have SEX. i've heard pious people said it's okey if you are not wealthy enough to get married, married is something that can bring wealth to your life. so, the conclusion is, lets get married hunny..i miss you terribly T_T. --,-<@

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

How to be a SWEET girlfriend/partner

hello there?
today our topic is as stated above T_T
since I haven't start anything on my gender essay(OMG) lets just go straight to the point. These are some tips provided from my own experience T_T and you can take it or leave it.

1. Smile and laugh freely. Be happy. If you are someone who didn't know how to make jokes, starts with watching comedy. click here

2. Don't answer his phone call or sms for the whole day. (or maybe if you two have been a couple for more than 3 years, make it for three days minimum!) . Let him miss you and wonder where is my cute little darling, what is she doing right now?, suddenly he will realize he miss you a lot. See, this is only a way to give him a space to feel the i miss you-

3. Lovely gift. Think about the feelings when you receive your first teddy bear, isn't it wonderful? Let it be a comfy sweater, a warm blanket, a cute keychain, a pair of sneakers or what ever you know he will be smiling when he saw them.

4. My treat~take out your purse, buy him a lunch, dinner or movie tickets. Ask him what would he like to eat,what kind of movie he wanted to watch.anyway, Kfc has just come out with a luscious, mouth-watering meal---> zinger tower.
last time i treat my hunny to watch Avatar. am proudly says that he enjoy it very much and thank me with a great smile T_T

Monday, January 11, 2010

i need more !

2 days ago i spend my blissful weekend with my beloved partner. (this should explain why i've not been updating this blog ^^.)I'm soooo happy to be on his side, 24 hours.hehe. don't get me wrong. i stayed at his aunty's house at Pendamar, Klang. just thinking of him now, and it makes me vulnerably helpless. i need more. i want you. let's get married! haha ^^,

Thursday, January 7, 2010

heart broken syndrome

I don't know why, but girls around me are having bad times in their relationship. so do I! and it is just unbearable. for me, at this moment i'll never let myself locked-up in my room alone. Find a companion, talk about anything and you'll find the burden inside fade away bit by bit. sharing is caring; let others know your feelings and don't be surprise, maybe the one you're talking with might have experienced the the same problem, the same situation.


Lately I'm thinking about being single and not available in any relationship with guys. I think it is better if we start to love someone only after tying the knot. Be a very good girl, find the right man and start to date as husband and wife. You are free to walk hand in hand, watching movies together and do many more things day and night!

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Food, again. things that can swing your mood

Sunday, January 3, 2010

our special late dinner =)

Just now my stomach has been pleasantly filled by a bowl of spaghetti bolognese, fried mushrooms,chicken and frankfurter. Serve with hot Sabah Tea. I simply love it. Not just because it taste great( for an amateur like us ^^), the meal have been prepared with so much love and fun. There are about five of us, with a rice cooker and electric stove. Mind you, I'm living alone this semester and this is the first time I have so many guest in my room. =) =) =)

I feel soooooo happy ( my tummy feel a lot happier =P) and okay, till then, bubbye..