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Friday, February 26, 2010

nasib sebuah meja

here i am, still awake and able to hug my teddy(under my armpit) while bersila on the bed,facing the desk. oh..what a mess..first drawer ade sangkut beg kuliah. makeup err not actually makeup--just johnson's baby oil, lotion and baby powder are jam-packed in the small pink container.not to forget a bottle of eversoft olive oil,(xmuat nk masuk pink container) two empty water bottles, a flask, an empty jar, a knife(knife?!), a green skinned manggo, a small plastic of chillies, laptop cooler, sepit rambut putih, bluetooth adapter, pen memandu, sikat ungu, small scissors, a tortoise(which meant to be put on a decent fridge), a mirror laying beside a miserable stack of papers and last 4 semesters' novels. the wrapping paper which is covering the naked table looks helplessly torn and pathetic. but the design is so sweet with lots of luv in colorful tone, making it impossible to be taken away before end of semester; or to be exact, the final day of my undergraduate's life.

i live in such a messy place. sakit mata memandang, berat bahu memikul. but i can't do anything bout it. it takes me days to discover the fact that the floor hadn't been swept for too long, because i wear slippers in my room. small things here and there keep on poking my sight, but as always, i think that is the only place where they belongs to. are you sure? a bottle of --- shampoo,halfway used hide beside the left kaki of my desk. on the right pula, there is an acer laptop box with books inside and on top of it, Buncho poster color, undefined brand of water color, and a cute green flowery palette. there is also unfinished bottle of ----shampoo which i've found that the smell can be heaven but the effect is like hell. a johnson's baby complete travel kit can be found on that acer box too.

that is only the front part of my view. and i'm not going to tell any about my laundry basket.huhu. believe it or not, this is the place where i've been living for months and even i've tried to keep all things arranged, they'll end up not looking as if have been neatly done. sampai masa, xde hati nk mengemas langsung, then gi lah merayap kt tempat org yg kemas ckit,. mess up their place and come back to my nest. cuddling with my teddy on the bed and nuzzle after his furs.
such a great, ultimate indulgence!

Thursday, February 25, 2010

oh penat..tp mau jalan2..mines kah? midvalley kah? i'm craving for new pairs of shoes, heels and handbag. u know wat, this is a common feeling when there are a lot of hard work to be done, not enough sleep and my effort seems to be squeezed to the fullest. wat a hectic week.and i'm totally weak now. there is a need to indulge myself with new things..fresher environment.

banyak yg dh bertanya, y they haven't heard of me telling stories about mizan anymore.
ok.thats a sign. terlalu bnyk bercerita ttg memori yg manis dan lucu bersama dia dan sekarang nothing happened. we just ignore each other and thats it. the thing is, i've loose the dependency on him. i can be happy without being around him. i can laugh and do my own stuff without thinking of those great moments, not even a minute. i used to do that u know. every single thing i saw, there are stories behind. my paintings, my shoes, shirts, mr teddy, blanket,...etc.

there was a time when i brought along my drawing block and oil pastel when going out with him. maybe tak tahan sbb boleh tgk je, dia pun nk melukis jgk. okey, since he insist, i handed over the stuff. hmm..drawing, in his sense is some lines here and there, messy. but then, at the end of it,tada...those scratch end up being a picture of me, (i assumed) because thats the way i've been sitting beside him at the moment.

and see, i can elaborate more on how he do that and do these. how special,funny and annoying he is.

now its 1:46 p.m, time to dressed up and leave. i've got a date. with a schoolmate, a boy friend. in form 3 he used to be the class monitor and i'm his assistant. (there is only five girls in the class out of 30 students). he is a good friend okey.
apparently not as what u guys think.

Monday, February 22, 2010

kata hati

Start maghrib td air xde kt kolej.thats a good thing.

now we're working on the poster presentation-Prodigal Son from Bible and Lotus Sutra(Buddha).

penat.otak asyik pk nk baring.
tp kalau surf internet xtdo sampai pg pun xpe.haha

theme:magical gorgeous-glorious-glamorous for dinner.tgh survey blogshop.jd witch pun okey gak per.

before poster discussion begin(tgu cik ayin) sempat webcaming ngn baby leesya..wawawa..tomeynye..rindu rindu rindu..

yahoo messenger start wat hal.abis r sume org marah kite anta virus kt dorg.

sedapnye ketupat ngn rendang shida's bf bwk..huhu.betuah btol igt nk bwk tuk awek tuuu.romantik r..heheh.

amizan marah lg tak? sori syg, i mmg nk hurt ur feelings.huhu

ayin da lelap.poster lum siap ag, how?sape nk tolong kiteee..pliss i need help!

Sunday, February 21, 2010

daddy: belajar rajin2 me: errrr..hm..okey.

in order to belajar rajin2..i hv to..

do more readings

less internet surfing

and maybe have to start making paid visits to MPH or BOarders.

this week? ouhhh i hv to cut down my shopping list for more books. that's terrible. horrible.unforgivable.

Friday, February 12, 2010

i dont love you like i love you yesterday

Thursday, February 11, 2010

healing

a cheerful heart does good like medicine, but a broken spirit makes one sick.

Monday, February 8, 2010

hmmm..

yang berkurang itu umur yang hampir itu ajal yang berat itu amanah

Sunday, February 7, 2010

stay away from my tongue

someone is coming and he might leave someday.no, he should. don't stay for too long coz i might drown you no matter what.


this emptiness is killing me..


lama xmain volleyball.
those sweet memories, semsas and dot dot dot.


now i'm here. counting the day to bid farewell to this plain uni. preparing for the next chapter of life.


semangat pinjam buku banyak2, bace tak. artikel basnet n remak mmg menyemak. sgt menyemak sampai xlalu makan+tdo.i need to go out.anywhere would be nice. but ktm sucks. rapidkl sucks.

pg td tido pukul 4,melayan sorg mat salleh yg plain.hahah.

Friday, February 5, 2010

i miss u

i miss u
i miss u
i miss u
i miss u
i miss u
i miss u
i miss u
i miss u
i miss u
i miss u
i miss u
i miss u
i miss u
i miss u
i miss u
(to the people i hate most)

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Sending Love game

Step 1:Entering into retreat: Choose someone to whom you want to send love. Then sit comfortably and focus on holding this person in your heart for three minutes. Use your awareness of your breath to keep you focused.

Step 2: For the next 15 minutes, visualize sending love to this person in a variety of ways or choose the way that works best for you. Imagine this person surrounded by white light. Imagine you can send loving messages to this person and that they will receive them. This is L-mail (love mail)as opposed to e-mail. Radiate loving energy from your heart directly to their heart. Visualize this person as happy and feeling loved. See them in your mind's eye doing what they most love to do. Imagine their energy field radiating and pulsating with golden light.

Step 3: Returning to the world: For the last 2 minutes, focus your awareness on your own breathing. Be unattached to any outcome of your sending love.

~20-minute retreats. Harris, Rachel.2000. Henry Holt and Company.New York

Monday, February 1, 2010

hidup mesti ada matlamat..

..and i don't see any in our relationship.lately i've been thinking about someone else that is far better than him. better in something that he couldn't afford to learn. i just don't understand why he keep on living a life like that. i just wana see some little improvements; have been waiting more than a year for that. and now it's time to get frustrated. am tired of waiting. letih mengharapkan sesuatu yg xpasti dr seseorang yg amat disayangi.i know nobody's perfect. me either.maybe that is why i still missed him badly,even it is just a two-days-away from kl.

Burnell said you don't have to rely on anybody else for your happiness and security.

but he is the only one i couldn't bear to keep apart.

rindu itu menyakitkan.